How to Raise a Thankful Child

Please and thank you. 

Seems simple but many parents still do not teach this…and it shows. I once had a friend who really believed that she did not have to teach her kids please and thank you when they were young because they did not really know what it meant. As these children aged, they remained aloof when given anything. I believe that if you teach kids at a young age to say thank you, then eventually that will translate into them being thankful. It will transition to a heartfelt response as they age, so go ahead and train them young.

Teach a child to show thanks with their words AND face. 

Just saying a quick thanks and moving on is just as bad as not saying thank you at all. Teach kids to really look at the item and then while making eye contact with the giver to say thank you with a big smile on their face. Are you teaching them to be deceptive if they don’t actually like the gift? No, you are teaching them to be polite. Remind them that they are called to show thanks whether they like the gift or not. Remember, it’s the thought (which really means the physical gesture!) that counts.

Teach them the value of time. 

Spending time is more valuable and more costly than spending money.  Just ask your child if he would rather have you play outside with him for an hour or have a dollar. They will choose you every time even though it is much easier for you just to give them the dollar! See? Time is extremely valuable! Colored pictures are gifts from the heart that cost someone TIME. Keep training them in this and they will forever be grateful for homemade gifts whether it’s a friend’s homemade birthday card or Aunt Zelda’s knitted sweater. When they know the value of time, they will think, “Someone cared enough to spend their time on me.”

Don’t give them the world. 

Not letting them have a toy or treat each time you go out will QUICKLY get them to appreciate when they do get one. This is so easy to do yet parents (me included) often let them have a little something almost every time. Try once every ten times and you will see a big difference. 

Make them value what they have. 

If they do not care for what they have been given, you can be sure they don’t appreciate it. Toys and clothes that are thrown down are signs of a less-than-thankful kid who is sure to become an entitled young adult. Teach them that caring for their toys, clothes, and rooms means that they are thankful to have them! Take toys away for no less than a month if they don’t care properly for them.

Take them to a place where giving is appreciated. 

If you have never taken your child to a retirement home with baked goods and homemade cards, you are missing out. You will never see more thankful a crowd than our elderly. Their faces light up and plenty of hugs go around when you visit. They can be some of the loneliest people around. Point out to your children (before you go in) to watch their faces light up, because it shows their gratitude. It makes a huge impact on children to see it firsthand over such a small thing. Let them know that they are not just appreciating the gifts you are bringing them, but the time it took to keep them company.